Piles Of Crap Based On A Subpar Movie? Why The Hell Not...

I started my love affair with video games in 1988, well after "The Crash", so at that point I didn't know about the E.T. video game and how amazingly bad it was. As a result, I was pretty spoiled when the NES game attached to the first Batman movie came out and gave me an excellent experience. Then something happened, and game companies started attaching themselves to any random movie license they can get their hands on. This often resulted in some incredibly bad video games, which is sad because the movies in most cases weren't that bad. I figured I'd give you guys a list of the worst licensed games I've played, but that would be too easy. That was my thinking until I played the NES game based on Total Recall. Busted controls, poor collision detection, vague level goals, it was all here. It almost made me give away my NES, but sanity kicked in and I kept it. I should have known Total Recall was gonna be bad though, since it was made by Acclaim, and by and large, Acclaim made shitty games. For a long time, a subsidiary of Acclaim, LJN, was responsible for games based on Marvel Comics' characters and either an LJN or Acclaim label was on every WWF game on home consoles up to WWF Attitude. Acclaim also made a mockery of The Simpsons, with crappy games based on the cartoon family going from the NES to the tail end of the 16 bit console generation. Now, I'm not say every game Acclaim made sucked, but pretty much all of the licensed games they published were utterly horrible. They weren't they only culprits, either. Game publishers like Ocean, who made a lot of great games for the Amiga and Commodore 64 consoles, made a lot of duds for the NES that were solely movie and TV licenses. I've played some pretty good games based on TV and movie licenses, but the ones that were bad...OH MAN, were they bad. Most of the publishers who were responsible for these digital turds are no longer in business, while one (THQ) has grown in reputation and revenue over the years.

This blog post should not only serve as commentary, but as a cautionary tale to parents who have kids that are gamers. Just because your kid was a fan of a cartoon or movie, doesn't mean they'll be a fan of a game based on that cartoon or movie. Chances are, that game will be played once, and you'll be puzzled as to why your kid doesn't know where that Avatar or Ben 10 game you bought them a week ago is.

Sadly, We May Get No More Conflict Amphibians...

Whenever I look back at my favorite games, I typically end up thinking about games that have been hurting for a good sequel for a long time. My focus for years was Kid Icarus, but after E3, we know that request is about to be answered. Now, some of my favorite games have been rebuilt from the ground up (Bionic Commando:Rearmed), while others have simply been given an HD redraw (Rocket Knight Adventures). Others, however, are still with a decent update for today's consoles. One such game is Battletoads.

Now, Battletoads was the focus of an amazing hoax pulled on legions of gamers across the country, and said hoax pissed a lot of them off. They were probably pissed because they were so gullible, and anyone who know actual video game history would know the hoax could never happen. You see, the "trailer" for the alleged new Battletoads game was for a Wii version of the game. Now, the developer of the Battletoads games and the owner of the franchise is Rare, who is currently an in house developer for Microsoft, and even though they have made any magic for the 360 (Perfect Dark Zero was a turd and Banjo Kazooie was kinda "huh"), they are still a highly touted developer.That eliminates any chance for Battletoads to appear on the Wii.

Another note was that the game in the fake trailer was to be published by Tradewest, which went under in the 1994. Just because a new group has resurrected the Tradewest name does not mean they have the stroke to lure away what would be a sure fire hit for the Xbox 360.

Finally, remakes of classic Beat em Ups don't work if they don't follow the original formula, if you don't believe me, just ask Ubisoft, who had fans of the original Turtles In Time ready to blow up their headquarters after they completely butchered their HD remake of the Arcade classic.

I'm pretty sure their won't be a new Battletoads game anytime soon, if ever. They may be blowing it, but what do I know, I'm just a gamer.

I'm An Addict, But My Habit Is Cheap...

Sin + Punishment = AWESOME!!!!

In 2000, Japanese developer Treasure created a masterpiece in the form of Sin and Punishment. The game was a big hit on the Nintendo 64, but never saw light outside of Japan. Many gamers who simply couldn't afford to import Sin and Punishment, but those who could were treated to one of the best pure action games on the N64, or any system for that matter. All hope of playing the game was pretty much gone for me until the announcement that shooter would be available via Nintendo's Virtual Console service. Then compounding on that, was an announcement that Treasure was working on a sequel to be released on the Wii in the Summer of 2010. Sin and Punishment: Star Successor hit store shelves on June 27,2010, and after spending some quality time with the game, I can say with great confidence that THIS GAME IS FREAKING AWESOME!

The story revolves around main characters Isa and Kachi fighting to escape the Nebulox and flee a dying world. The story is not what anybody is playing Star Successor for, you play it for blistering, kinetic action of the highest order. it's not the typical bright, cutesy game you expect to be published by Nintendo, but it features the kind of high production values you expect from a game published by Nintendo. Everyone who has complained about there not being a strong hardcore gaming presence on the Wii haven't been paying attention lately, but I digress.

The gameplay is part Contra, part Space Harrier, part Cannon Spike, and those parts equal something that hasn't been seen on a current generation console. Also, everybody who has concerns about playing a game like this with the WiiMote/Nunchuk combo can rest easy, it handles great in every controller combination. If I have anything to pout about with this game, it would have to be the lack of a true Co Op mode. I mean, the game has two main characters, so I can't really see why a second player couldn't be fit in.

Honestly, this game is a testament to gameplay mattering a lot more than which system it appears on, and it serves as a thank you to those who have supported Treasure and Nintendo over the years. Anybody claiming to be a fan of hardcore gaming should head over to their local video game store and plunk down their money for a copy of Sin and Punishment: Star Successor. If you don't have a Wii, this might be the best possible time to get one since their are a lot of high quality titles coming out this year.

The Ten Things That Have Made Me Say "F&$% Yeah!!" in Video Games

Now, I haven't done a list in a minute, but I figured this was as good a time as any, being that I should have some new gaming hotness to review for y'all next week. So, I figured I'd give you guys a list of the ten things that most exemplified a "Fuck Yeah!!!" moment in video games for me.

10) The first time the "Konami code" worked for me on a game not called Contra. Konami used that classic code for a lot of games, but most gamers didn't know it worked on anything but Contra. When I tried it on Life Force, though, those 30 lives got a reaction out of me that was unforgettable.

9) Beating Mike Tyson in Punchout!! The first time I fought him, I used a password to get to him, and thoroughly got my ass beat. After I invested time into beating the game the hard way, I was mentally prepared to fight Tyson, and I won by decision. I don't care if it wasn't a KO since I did something a lot of gamers still can't say they've done.

8) Witnessing the subtle awesomeness of the original Blaster Master. I might get some grief about this one, but Blaster Master was an incredible game that has been plagued with crappy sequels. The first time I fought that giant frog was sheer joy.

7) The cutscenes in Tecmo's NES games. Cutscenes are commonplace nowadays, but back on the NES they were virtually nonexistent. When Tecmo unveiled what they called "Cinema Scenes", everyone in the video game community stood up and took notice. The opening to Ninja Gaiden on the NES was the best game intro ever.

6) Finally finding the princess in Super Mario Bros. Toad honestly had me wanting to strangle him by the time I got to the final castle, but when Bowser hit the lava for the last time, and I saw the princess, I knew it was done. I didn't cheer because I beat the game, I cheered because I didn't have to rescue Toad again.

5) Seeing Street Fighter 2 for the first time. I remember how "meh" Karate Champ was, but I wanted it to be better. Then I remember how much potential the original Street Fighter had, and how bad it was executed. Then I saw Street Fighter 2, and it literally introduced me to a new sub genre: the well executed fighting game.

4) Symphony of the Night There have been a lot of "Fuck Yeah!!!" moments involving Castlevania for me. Nothing prepared me how incredible Symphony of the Night was (and still is). the expansiveness of the game design gave me goosebumps, and the game handles like a dream.

3) The utter coolness of Maniac Mansion LucasArts has been responsible for a lot of great gaming experiences. Their high water mark was Maniac Mansion. an RPG that was way ahead of it's time, thus making it a cult classic among those of us old enough to remember it.

2) Surviving past the second level in Ghosts N' Goblins I remember this struggle well. It took me no less than a month to get past the second level back when I was 9 years old. I never played anything as hard as this game, and I haven't played anything this hard since. Passing that level made me feel like I had done the impossible, and I honestly think I did.

1) Falling in love with "Bullet Hell" shoot em ups Raiden started the obsession, but Giga Wing made it flat out love. Games like DoDonPachi, 19XX, Diamhoo, etc. have honestly become favorites of mine. I have become so adept at the score attack modes in Giga Wing that I once topped a Stage's high score without having in my contacts or wearing glasses.

Those are some of my "Fuck Yeah!!!" moments, but what are yours? Leave a comment telling me your fondest gaming memory.

Michael Jackson: Entertainer, Icon, Gamer

Michael Jackson's been gone for a year. Most of us have fond memories of his music, and he's probably selling more music now than he has in a long time. Being that this is a video game blog, I'll focus on the ties MJ had to the gamer community. He had a long relationship with Sega, who produced an Arcade game based on the Moonwalker movie. The game was a Beat Em Up that featured a 3/4 perspective and was full of MJ's music and mannerisms. Unfortunately, Arcade Moonwalker cabinets suffered from Sega's Suicide Battery which would render the game unplayed at a certain point.

Sega also made home versions of Moonwalker for the Sega Genesis, Master System, and Game Gear that played a lot like their classic ninja game Shinobi. Another variation of game based on the Moonwalker film was released on several different home computer platforms. The computer versions of the game are also distinct in that they reference the early portions of the film as well as the final segment.

In addition to a starring role in the Moonwalker games, Jackson also had guest cameo appearances in Sega's Space Channel 5 games as well as a role in Midway's Ready 2 Rumble Boxing: Round 2. After MJ's death, the internet buzzards came out of the woodwork trying to cash in. Copies of the various versions of Moonwalker, which were relatively cheap at one point, began to go through the roof price wise all over the internet. In particular, an unopened copy of the Genesis version of Moonwalker sold on Ebay for over $13,000. I understand missing Michael Jackson, but I wouldn't swap a Chevy Cobalt for a video game, and that's what some sucker did when they paid that much for a Genesis game.

Everyone who ever visited Neverland Ranch will tell you one of the most amazing things in the house was his home arcade. The guy had so many vintage games, he could have opened that room up as a Twin Galaxies recognized arcade. So, it comes as no surprise that Michael Jackson would have a love of video games. I'll end this post with a little good news with regards to Michael Jackson's gamer legacy. Ubisoft has announced that they will be releasing a rhythm game based on the music and choreography of Michael Jackson. very little is actually known about the game, but after the success of games like Just Dance, it may end up being a winner. A gaming website recently voted Moonwalker on the worst licensed video games ever, but you can't deny the games charms. Here's to hoping the next game featuring The King of Pop has that charm, but better mechanics.

I Almost Forgot: Remember earlier when I mentioned MJ working with Sega? Well there has been a long running rumor that Michael Jackson's music provided the groundwork for the soundtrack to Sonic the Hedgehog 3. If you're curious, check the last video out.

Retro Is Back, But...

After following E3 2010 coverage last week, I realized something: old school gaming is back. With announcements of a new Donkey Kong Country, Kid Icarus, Contra, Castlevania, and many other franchises on the show floor, I was initially excited. My excitement started to wane when I thought about the first time I introduced a friend to the NES version of Bionic Commando and the arcade version of Ghouls and Ghosts. Not only was the guy frustrated by the difficulty of the games, but he proceeded to say that Bionic Commando was "gay" because the main character doesn't jump. WHAT? That was what made that game challenging. you had to learn how to move around with only your grappling hook. He was also crying because of the "one hit and you're dead" life mechanic. I realized that he was spoiled by unlimited continues and Easy Modes that have plagued video games since the PS1. Fast Forward to this year, and Capcom has announced a sequel to Bionic Commando: Rearmed, their critically acclaimed re-imagining of the NES title. This would have been a welcome announcement to any old school gamer, except for one important thing. Rad Spencer can now JUMP. I mean, really?!? What's next, a super easy version of Ghouls and Ghosts? Some things should never happen, and this is one of those things. Add to that, Konami is about to release a remake of their classic side scrolling action game, Rush N Attack. I will say, I'm surprised by this remake, especially since nobody really ever mentions Rush N Attack as a game needing a remake. I can't complain though, since this may lead to a remake of other Konami classics like Jackal, Time Pilot and Yie Ar Kung Fu. Lastly, does anybody know who has the license to the old Technos Japan game catalog? I'm sure there are a lot of gamer who would love to see a new Double Dragon, River City Ransom, or Super Dodge Ball. I'll even take Sega bringing back Alex Kidd if they didn't screw it up like Ubisoft screwed up Turtles in Time.